


Sugar We're Going Down

by itsaconquestofimagination



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Brother Feels, Brotherly Angst, Brothers, College, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fist Fights, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren in Love, Love, Mild Language, Parents Han and Leia, Relationship(s), Skywalker Family Drama, Solo triplets, Triplets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsaconquestofimagination/pseuds/itsaconquestofimagination
Summary: Modern College AU: Reader has been dating Ben for months now and comes over for their usual date night. While waiting for Ben to return from the store, reader chats with Kylo, her long time best friend, only to have the evening take an unexpected turn.





	

Friday night, one of your favorite times of the week. It was a relief from the weekdays prior and only the intro to your weekend. Especially being a student, you couldn’t help but be ecstatic everytime Friday rolled around and relieved you of your classes. Friday also meant you got to see your boyfriend, Ben Solo. It was the day of the week you both agreed to have declared an official date night. Though Ben almost always made it an evening spent inside his bedroom, he at least made an effort to spoil you. With a smile you knocked on the white wood door, dropping your arm to your side after a moment. Happily humming to yourself, you teetered on the balls of your feet, bringing your hands in front of you. Your eyes started scanning the halls, observing the surrounding apartments. Moments later, the door swung open, revealing Kylo. His dark hair was pulled into some kind of man bun variation, a black hoodie unzipped to show his black tank top, a new subtle septum adorning his nose. You gave him a smile as his brows raised.

“Hey stranger.”

He stuttered, his hand awkwardly trying to grip onto the door.

“H-hey. Long time no see.”

“Is Ben here?”

Clearing his throat Kylo shook his head, his expression seeming to fall for a moment.

“No, he’s out getting something at the store.”

You nodded, “Oh ok… Can I come in?”

Kylo hesitated, gulping. He shrugged, moving to the side as he gestured for you to enter.

“Y-yeah sure.”

You smiled, patting him on the shoulder as you sauntered into the living room, plopping onto the familiar grey sectional couch.

“You wouldn’t have kicked out your best friend would you?”

The words hit him in an odd way, a way he wasn’t expecting to feel. Seeing you alone brought up feelings he was trying to ignore, hearing you continue to speak however was only making it worse. He couldn’t deny that things changed in your friendship ever since you had started dating Ben, things he couldn’t help but feel mournful over. You hadn’t sat and talked for months, hadn’t gone to concerts that you used to go to, no longer visited shops you frequented together, no longer played video games you used to love. It was as if you had faded almost entirely from Kylo’s life. With the way Ben kept you exclusively to himself, not even bringing you around his brothers much unless you were up against a wall they were behind, Kylo was sure he had lost his best friend.

“No…I wouldn’t do that to you.”

You smiled at him warmly, patting the spot next to you.

“Of course you wouldn’t, come sit with me.”

Hesitantly Kylo sat on the couch, a cushion away from you. Arching a brow you watched him seat himself, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you. Compared to how Kylo acted around you, this was like having an entirely different person before you. He hardly looked at you, spoke even fewer words than usual, seemed hesitant to get anywhere closer to you, as if trying to avoid you. Opting to shrug it off, you sighed, reclining back as you put your feet up on the ottoman. It was likely just Kylo being his brooding self.

“So what’s been new with you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Silently within his head he cursed Ben for that, for keeping you away and taking so much of your time. It was true, Kylo hadn’t properly spoken to you in months, let alone seen you. Months that only became more miserable as they passed. Months that left him with unresolved feelings that haunted him every time he saw or heard you with his brother. Clearing his throat, he gave you a big shrug, raising his brows for a moment.

“Not much. You know…Classes, trying to get my photography work ready for Phasma’s studio.”

You gasped, stopping him mid sentence. He looked up to see your jaw hanging loosely and your eyes wide with child like excitement. Being Kylo’s best friend, you knew well that he was aspiring to have his work displayed one day. For years he would photograph just about anything and make it appear in a stunning light you hadn’t even managed to see. His eye for things, whether mundane or extraordinary, was incredible.

“Shut up, Phasma’s finally getting her studio?”

He nodded.

“And your work is going to be on display there?”

He nodded again, shyly scratching the back of his neck. No matter how much you doted over his work, he always remained rather humble but also undeniably self conscious. Sitting up, you playfully hit him on the back.

“Kylo! Are you serious? That’s amazing! People are finally going to see your work!”

He shrugged, giving you a shy smile. He was slowly starting to appear more like the Kylo you remembered, more like the best friend you missed so dearly.

“It’s nothing special, I mean…I kind of had to scratch my original idea due to…unexpected circumstances. I pulled it together though.”

You eagerly scooted yourself closer to him. Truly, from deep within you, you were proud, excited for him. Being the quitest of the triplets, you knew opportunities often passed him by, seeing as he struggled greatly with networking and forcing himself before people to present his work.

“Well I want to see it! I’m sure they’re gorgeous, your work has always been great.”

He blushed faintly, waving his hand dismissively. Getting lost in the feeling of hearing your praise again, his heart swelled just faintly as a genuine smile crept onto his face. A sight that seldom appeared, unless it was for you.

“Nah you don’t wanna see them now, they’re not done. I need to edit them a little more. The lighting’s a little off in some of them.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing well he was being a perfectionist about his work.

“Pfft, please.”

Leaning forward to the black laptop on the ottoman before you, you instantly reached your hand to the ‘mouse’ to light up the screen. As you moved, Kylo’s eyes shot wide open. Instinctively he moved forward, trying to block you.

“(Y/N) wait!”

Even with his arm trying to block your hand, you easily slipped around it, revealing his home screen. Smirking at your success, you suddenly were met with an image before you, you were not at all expecting. Furrowing your brows, you tilted your head, observing the black and white photo.

“ Is… that my picture…as your home screen?”

The photo was one of you a year ago, one you hadn’t even realized he had taken. You were laughing, nose crinkled and eyes practically shut while your teeth were just faintly exposed to the camera. Given the faded background, it looked as though you were in kitchen of the boys first apartment, your hands covered in some sort of baking concoction, just a bit of it smeered on your cheek. In the faded background, you could see Kylo had attempted to erase any other faces in the picture, only leaving you as the center focus. Though that was usually an artistic method, this seemed otherwise. Feeling his heart slamming against his chest, Kylo swallowed. His body went stiff instantly as his expression became blank. Considering how seldom he saw you lately and how seldom anyone other than him looked at his laptop, he had never anticipated something like this happening. When he had made it his home screen, he really only thought about how much he loved the picture of you, freshly heartbroken that Ben had made a move right as he was about to make his own. Now however, with you seeing it on his screen, he was mortified and embarrassed, quietly wondering why he had never thought this may happen. From the look of confusion on your face, he could already tell it seemed odd to you.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

You scoffed faintly, gesturing to the screen.

“What is it supposed to look like? It’s a photo of just me as your screen. …A really good picture, but still, a picture of just me.”

Turning back to the screen, you suddenly noticed another small icon with the same photo, a series of other black and white photos behind it. Without bothering to ask, you clicked on it as your brows furrowed again. Kylo’s face flushed, embarrassment consuming him entirely.

“(Y/N) come on.”

Sure enough, as the folder opened, an array of black and white photos laid out across the screen. All of them were of you. A few, you remembered looking directly into the camera, while the majority were candid. It was an entire collection of photos you had no idea he had ever taken, moments you hadn’t even realized he had the camera with him in. Looking to the top of the screen, you saw the folders title read, Studio Show - Scratched. This was his original collection for Phasma’s studio. Feeling your lips part, you turned to look at Kylo, his face was entirely blank, though his eyes looked somewhat petrified. Clicking on one of the other pictures you intently observed it, before turning back to him once again.

“Explain.”

Kylo stared back at you blankly, the words he had in his head unable to properly come together. He knew everything he wanted to say to you, he had rehearsed it in his head millions of times over and over, and yet with you in front of him now, he was drawing a blank. His mouth felt as if it were wired shut, unable to speak at all. Things were different now, and the words he had wanted to say were only going to make this entire interaction more nerve wracking. He gulped, his adams apple bobbing in his neck as his eyes remained on you.

“Kylo please explain this before I start assuming.”

He held up his hands, turning to face you with his torso.

“Ok, ok.”

He released a deep breath, feeling as though his gut were free falling from the sheer volume of anxiety flowing through him. No explanation he had for this was going to sound good, it was either going to further break his heart or creep you out beyond words.

“It’s uh…it’s a birthday present.”

You arched a brow, “Really? A birthday present? Pictures of myself? I’m not that conceited.”

“No, no that’s not what I-”

“Kylo please…please tell me the truth. …I am your best friend.”

He swallowed, letting another moment of silence pass before he nodded.

“Ok…I…I took those photos last year and I…I intended to show them to you and tell you all about it…but-”

“But what?”

He gulped, his heart racing even faster, if that was physically possible. He couldn’t come out and say it, it would sound bitter, resentful. You seemed happy with Ben, and the last thing he wanted to do was make you upset.

“…But then…unexpected circumstances came up.”

Your mouth fell open, putting two and two together. He had taken these to do more than just share them with you as his best friend. They were meant to be a romantic gesture, a sort of confession, which in true Kylo fashion, didn’t involve many words. Looking at the last photo in the collection, you recollected the day, finally understanding what the unexpected circumstance was.

“But then I started dating Ben…”

He didn’t answer, rather just turned his attention to the screen in front of you leaving the room silent for a good long moment. Things slowly started to make more sense in your head, the way Kylo avoided looking at you, the way he distanced himself, the way he hardly acknowledged you when you were with Ben. He had feelings for you, and due to Ben, he had to supress them. Forced to watch someone else, someone who was identical to him, get to do all the things he wanted to do with you.

“So…they’ve just been sitting here.”

"What’s been sitting here?”

You both froze hearing the other familiar baritone voice behind you. Turning behind you, you were met with Ben leaning down onto the back of the couch. With wide eyes you watched as his own eyes looked to the screen before you, narrowing. Waiting a moment, his smile started to fade as his brows knitted. You cleared your throat, trying to smile.

“Hi baby.”

Kylo’s stomach churned at hearing the words come from your mouth for Ben. Ben made a faint grunt, as if sufficing for a hello, while he remained focused on the screen. Slowly he turned his gaze to Kylo.

“What is this?”

You gulped, already noticing the change in Ben’s tone. You had never seen him angry, but by the look in his eyes and the way his voice cut the silence, you were more than positive you were going to.

“Kylo.”

Kylo just stared back at Ben, his eyes still pertrified. Ben’s nostrils flared, his jaw locking with tension.

“Why…in the fuck, do you have pictures of my girlfriend on your computer?”

Turning to face Kylo, you anticipated his answer. From the look on his face, you were sure he was going to freeze up the same way he had when you first asked him about the photos. Gulping again, he just stared back at Ben, not making any movement or sound.

“Well?”

Kylo’s expression then shifted, going from fear to more of a slow burning rage. Whatever Ben had said, or Kylo suddenly had overtake him, he was growing more confident in his stance, his broad shoulders looking more intimidating as they rose from their slouch.

“She was my best friend before she was your girlfriend.”

Your mouth hung loose, surprised by Kylo’s defiance. From the fear that had consumed him earlier, you were sure he was going to apologize profusely to Ben, but obviously you were mistaken. Ben’s nostrils flared, turning to look at you. His expression, though still angry appeared hurt as well. He would deny it to the death, but by the look in his eyes you already knew.

“You let him take these pictures of you?”

You shook your head, brows furrowing.

“No. Well…not exactly.”

Ben shook his head, his anger obviously building with a slow burn like Kylo’s.

“What so he just happens to have an entire folder of your pictures and you didn’t know about them?”

You nodded, “Ben, seriously I had no idea.”

Though your answer to Ben hurt Kylo, making it sound as though you were a victim to him, Kylo could sense you didn’t want this to continue. Standing from his spot on the couch, Kylo turned to face Ben.

“Leave her out of this Ben. She didn’t do anything, I took them.”

Ben scoffed, “Yeah I know you did you perverted little shit.”

Your brows furrowed at Ben, lightly hitting his arm. Even if they were brothers, and you knew they fought like dogs if they fought, you couldn’t help but feel for Kylo. Even if it was off-putting at first, you knew he meant well and didn’t deserve to be regarded as a pervert. The photos were nothing explicit or invasive, they were shots endearingly capturing you in his point of view.

“Ben!”

With that Ben’s tone instantly rose, his face starting to go red. Even if you hadn’t said much in Kylo’s defense, Ben was not about to have you take his brothers side.

“What?! You want to defend him?! You think it’s okay for him to have these pictures of you?! MY girlfriend?!”

“Ben they’re just artistic shots!”

“Artistic shots of MY girlfriend! They’re pictures I should be taking, not him!”

“Ben come o-”

“Stay out of this!”

Kylo seeing you flinch away from Ben, instantly went into protective mode. Walking closer to Ben, with his brows furrowed deeper he rose his voice as well.

“Don’t yell at her! She did nothing wrong!”

Ben turned to look at Kylo, his eyes seething.

“You keep an entire collection of pictures of your brothers girlfriend and don’t expect someone to call you out on it? What the fuck? You little fucking perv, what do you even keep them for?!”

Kylo sneered, and before he could even think, he spat out his response.

“You should know.”

Before you could even gage their expressions or react to Kylo’s abrupt answer, Ben lunged at Kylo, knocking them both to the floor. Gasping, you looked over the edge of the couch. Struggling on the hardwood floors, Ben and Kylo were both throwing punches. With how strong each of their swings was you could tell they were not holding back for each other, not wanting to display any mercy. As Kylo gave Ben’s jaw a considerable hit, Ben knocked Kylo beneath him. Assuring Kylo was held beneath him, straddling him with all of his weight, Ben started pounding into Kylo, causing you to yell out.

“Ben stop! Stop!”

The anger he had felt had consumed him entirely as he threw one punch after the other into Kylo, without a thought of anything other than bringing Kylo pain in his mind. Feeling tears begin to well in your eyes, you continued to watch in horror, afraid to get in the middle with just how violently they were hitting each other. You didn’t want either of them to get hurt any further, but with how strong they both were, you’d suffer more than a bruise if you were to get involved. Finally getting a chance, Kylo kneed Ben in the gut, causing him to lose the upper hand. Kylo began laying into Ben with just as little mercy, taking a considerably hard hit to Ben’s nose.

“Kylo, no stop!”

Watching Ben cover his nose as Kylo’s back heaved before beginning his round of punching again.

“Please stop!”

Walking into the apartment, completely caught off guard by the scuffle before him, Matt’s eyes shot wide behind his glasses. Looking to the couch he saw you crying, curled into yourself as you watched his brothers beat into each other. Not even bothering to ask questions, Matt dropped his things and quickly made his way behind Kylo. Locking his arms under Kylo’s, he ripped Kylo from Ben with all of his weight, stumbling slightly as he stood upright. Kylo continued to struggle, trying to pull out of Matt’s grip to get back to Ben.

“Hey, hey! Stop!! Stop!”

Finally separated Kylo and Ben glared at each other, chests heaving with their heavy breath, noses bloody and eyes bruised. The tension between them was practically visible in the air, the seething anger still flaring in their eyes. Hearing you sniffle, they all turned to look at you, covering your face with your hand. Kylo spoke first, slowly realizing what he had done. Swallowing, he began to speak softly.

“(Y/N).”

Ben sneered from his place on the floor, slowly rising to his feet again.

“No! No. You don’t get to talk to her you little peeping shit!”

Kylo struggled in Matt’s arms, aching to hit Ben once again. Shaking your head, quickly grabbing your bag you started to move off of the couch. The evening already had gone down the drain, and you weren’t up for seeing it burn to the ground. Ben watched you intently, brows furrowing. His tone came out harsh as he faced you.

“What are you doing?”

You froze, standing on the carpet before their couch. Fumbling with your hands you began to nervously stutter, trying to not look Ben directly in the eyes.

“I- I need some air or something I do-”

“No.”

You looked up to see Ben’s chest still heaving, his lips pressed together as he gave you both a stern and pained expression. He aggressively pointed to the ground, speaking through gritted teeth.

“No you’re staying here and we’re settling this.”

Looking between them, both a mess of emotions you shook your head. Given the revalation that Kylo, your best friend, in fact had feelings for you, that Ben somewhere underneath that ego was self concious about that, there was no way any discussion about this would end peacefully. If anything, your discussion would only incite another fist fight and only break someone’s heart further. Shaking your head, your tears began to surge again.

“I-I can’t.”

“Can’t? What do you mean you can’t?!”

With your lip quivering at Ben’s sudden harsh tone you shrugged, avoiding his eyes. You just wanted to escape, there was no resolution to this in your mind except for you to leave.

“I-I just really want to go home. I want to go home.”

“Why?”

“I n-need to be alone for a little bit.”

Flaring his nostrils once again, Ben scoffed, shaking his head at you with an obvious expression of anger. He had hoped that seeing the hurt in his face you would want to sort it out, but clearly you had other plans. Your sympathy for Kylo, at least in Ben’s mind, was clouding your judgement and unable to deal with the situation at hand. Abruptly he gestured to the door with a harsh sling of his arm.

“Go then, leave! See if I care!”

Seeing Ben’s disregard for your conflicted feelings, the anger etched into his face, you felt yourself coming unhinged. The scorn in his eyes, the way his lips were pressed into a firm line, only making your skin crawl. He wasn’t the Ben you recognized, and you knew, this time it was different. Not able to hold it together any longer, your tears started flowing freely as you rushed out of the apartment. Watching you cry into your hand, not making any effort to look behind you or before you as you rushed to the door, Kylo’s heart sunk into his shoes. He had hardly ever seen you upset, much less upset because of him or something he did. The sheer heartache playing across your face, the way your nose was running, hit him deep. Releasing from Matt’s grip, he attempted to reach out to you.

“(Y/N) wait!”

Before he could reach you, you slammed the apartment door behind you, scurrying down the steps as you rushed to the car, just wanting to get home. As Kylo went towards the door, Matt called out.

“No! No you’re not going after her, neither of you are!”

Kylo turned to look at Matt, seeing that Ben was doing the same. Matt’s chest began to heave, his brows furrowing.

“You’ve done enough.”

Kylo’s expression remained solemn as he looked at Matt.

“Matt…”

“You heard me, neither of you gets to go after her. You’ve done enough and considering how you acted here, you’ll only make it worse.”

Ben’s brows furrowed as he looked Matt over, obviously confused by his brothers sudden abrasive behavior.

“What the fuck has gotten into you?”

“You made your girlfriend cry in fear Ben! That’s what! You don’t deserve to go after her…you both fucked yourselves over and you hurt (Y/N).”

Ben glared over to Kylo, sneering faintly. “He started it.” Kylo’s head snapped up to Ben, instantly knowing where this was going, Matt put himself between them, holding his hands up to each of them.

“Stop!”

He sighed with frustration, the look on his face expressing just how exhausted he already was with being in the middle of them.

“Both of you need to just shut the fuck up and go your separate ways right now.”

Both huffing, Kylo and Ben glared at each other for a moment. For the first time in the argument, their expressions looked hauntingly similar. They were both enraged, furious with the other, and both hurt, feeling betrayed by the other. Seeing the similarity, they both sighed, Kylo nodded. “You’re right…we should.” Ben nodded in agreement. Matt nodded as well, at least mildly satisfied with their acceptance of it.

“Ok, good.”

Ben didn’t bother to look at either of his brothers, slamming his bedroom door behind him. Although he was subtly content to see his brother so earnestly try to stop the fight, he couldn’t help but to still be angry. His girlfriend had displayed more sympathy for Kylo than for him, and even though it was a fraction of a minute, it was eating away at him. You were supposed to be coming over to have a good time with him, not spending it with Kylo. Deep down, he also couldn’t dismiss the notion that Kylo saw no fault in his actions. Those pictures, though not explicit, were truly intimate in a way Ben seethed to think about. To think his brother saw his girlfriend that way, that anytime he was around, that was how he saw her. And yet, Ben was jealous. Kylo’s point of view was a way of looking at you even Ben had yet to do. Unlike Ben, Kylo found himself unable to think clearly about how he was supposed to go into his room and not think about what had just happened. Realistically, if he gave himself that much quiet and isolated time, he would end up destroying his room to release the last of his anger. Huffing he walked into his room, quickly grabbing his leather jacket and sleek black helmet. Matt watched him march to the door, arching a brow.

“What are you doing?”

“I need to get out of here, I’m going for a ride.”

“You’re not-”

Kylo snapped suddenly at Matt.

“No Matt I’m not! …I’m obviously not wanted there.”

Matts expression drooped, realizing now just how hard this had hit Kylo. Matt was aware of your friendship with Kylo, before Ben ever came into your life, and he could see it now. Kylo saw you as more than just any friend.

“I’m-”

“Forget it.”

Not bothering to say anything else, Kylo quickly slipped on his jacket, helmet under his arm as he made his way out of the apartment. Hearing the door slam once again, Matt sighed. Peering around the room, to assure Ben was not in sight, Matt made his way to his room, closing the door behind him. Slowly seating himself on his bed, he started unlocking his phone, scrolling through the contacts. Seeing your name, he sighed. After the scene he had just seen, he could only imagine how you yourself were feeling. Though he was not nearly as close to you as Kylo, Matt thought of you as his friend also. There were years upon years you had spent coming over to their house, years in which he had gotten to know you fairly well. Seeing the state you left in tonight, he couldn’t possibly let you leave like that with no discussion. Hitting the dial button, he released a deep breath, resting his back on the wall behind him. After hearing the dial tone a couple of times, he heard a sniffle.

“Hello?”

“Hey (Y/N), it’s Matt.”

The other line was silent for a moment.

“You called me with *69? Really?”

“I, I thought you would think Kylo or Ben were trying to call you with my phone. So going anonymous made sense.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t have picked up.”

“A-…are you ok?”

Another sniffle, your voice coming through in a softer tone.

“I don’t know Matt…I really don’t know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like you were involved.”

“I still feel bad though. …Is there anything I can do?”

Your line went silent again for a moment, only to hear soft whimpering sounds a moment later.

“(Y/N)?”

“…Can you…can you…not come back? …Any of you.”

Matt’s heart sunk at the words, feeling as though you had personally punched him in the chest. He hoped he had heard you wrong, that in your emotional state you had mumbled out something else.

“What?”

“I…I don’t want to be around you guys anymore…at least not for a long, long time.”

Another punch, this one deep into his ribs.

“What? …B-but why?”

You huffed out a laugh between your tears.

“Matt…there’s no way to resolve this without hurting one of them. Either way someone gets royally fucked over with a broken heart. It’s better if I just kind of…you know…disappear.”

Matt’s heart only began to ache deeper, realizing that you were asking him to essentially break up with Ben for you and tell Kylo that you were no longer friends. Though he didn’t know the full story, he was shocked you weren’t trying to better resolve this. That you were suggesting the best possible case scenario to be hurting them even more by removing yourself from their lives.

“But…you don’t have to leave us.”

“I think I do.”

“(Y/N).”

“Just please Matt…please do this for me.”

“…There’s really no other solution?”

“…No.”

Feeling as though he were going to cry himself, Matt released a deep breath.

“If it’s worth anything, we’ll really miss you.”

You huffed another soft laugh, sniffling.

“I’ll miss you guys too.”

“…You’re sure there’s no other way?”

“Matt, I can’t condone choosing one of them right now. I can’t. Someone’s going to get hurt more than they deserve…I can’t do it.”

Matt sighed, nodding to himself, seeing that the decision was obviously weighing heavily on you. The way you spoke matched the look of uncertainty and anxiety you had possessed in your eyes. You were overwhelmed, and unable to handle the scenarios that may unfold if you were to choose one over the other.

“Ok…take care of yourself.”

“You too.”

“…Bye.”

In that instant, he heard your line quit. Looking to the screen of his phone, he saw your name fade away, leaving his screen saver staring back at him. Slowly, a tear crept out of his eye and slid down his cheek. While it would weigh heavier on Kylo and Ben, he too had lost a friend and felt his heart been broken.

* * *

 

_2 years later…_

In a sea of black caps and gowns, the boys gathered together beside a sign for the university. Squishing together, they all held up their cases for their degrees, continually bumping elbows. Standing in front of them with teary eyes, but a smile of pride, was Leia holding her phone up in front of her face.

“A little closer, I can’t see the left side of Matt’s face.”

Ben chuckled as Kylo gestured with his hands.

“Zoom out mom, zoom out.”

Moving her fingers over the screen, she made an ‘ah-ha’ expression, nodding in approval.

“Ok, smile!”

Collectively, the boys smiled for the camera, showing off their degrees. Dropping her phone from in front of her face, they were all met with Leia’s watery eyes. Ben tilted his head.

“Ah mom.”

“My college graduates.”

Han patted her shoulder with a smirk as she laid a hand over her heart.

“They’re graduating honey, it’s not like they’re dying.”

She nodded, swatting Hans hand.

“I know, I’m just so proud. It seems like just yesterday I was walking them to the school bus.”

They all collectively rolled their eyes, walking towards Leia. Ben held out his arms, as Kylo and Matt followed behind.

“Ok bring it in.”

All at once, the boys wrapped Leia in a hug, causing her heart to swell. Han smiled at the sight, as the boys all held onto Leia for a few moments. As they pulled away, they were met with Rey running up to them with a giant smile across her face.

“Congrats cousins!”

They all individually walked up to Rey, giving her a hug. Latching onto Matt’s side she looked at all of them with a beaming smile, as Ben nudged her.

“Pretty soon it’s gonna be you graduating kid.”

Rey groaned, rolling her eyes.

“It seems so far away.”

Matt chuckled, rubbing Reys shoulder.

“Oh trust me, you’ll be saying that for the rest of your college career.”

They all laughed, nodding in agreement. Kylo nodded, running his hand through his dark hair with a faint smirk. Scanning the crowd for a moment, observing the wave of people, he brought his gaze back towards his family, only to freeze. About 20 feet way, laughing with a small group of girls also in caps and gowns, you stood. The sight of you alone made Kylo’s heart ache, yet simultaneously warm. It had been so long since he had seen you in the flesh, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to have you nearby. It was heartbreaking yet joyful to see you even this close to his proximity. Though he frequently looked back on those photos he had taken, they would never suffice for seeing you in person. His photos could only do so much justice, and couldn’t even begin to capture the feeling of laying his eyes on you.

Your hair still had the same luster he remembered, your eyes still holding that same little twinkle and your smile just as contagious as he recalled. From the look on your face, you looked happy as ever, ecstatic that you had finally finished school.

“You know…I know you hate my advice, but I believe speaking rather than staring works with women if you’re interested.”

Kylo turned to see Han coming up to his side, giving him a sly smirk. Kylo scoffed, trying to hide his expression from Han.

“Thanks dad, wasn’t aware.”

Han patted his shoulder for a moment before sighing as he followed Kylo’s gaze.

“Who is she?”

Kylo looked over to you mournfully, seeing you throw your head back just faintly with your friends. Something you used to do with him.

“It’s not important…she doesn’t want to see me.”

Han arched a brow, both curious as to what Kylo meant by that and shocked his son had even revealed that much to him. Considering Kylo and Han constantly butted heads and rarely saw eye-to-eye, hearing Kylo confess anything other than obvious emotions and facts was a shift.

“What makes you think that?”

Kylo sighed, running his hand through his locks once again.

“…She made it pretty clear the last time I heard from her.”

Han nodded, hesitantly looking at Kylo in the corner of his eye. From what Han could tell, whatever Kylo had been through with you, he was not over it. The droop in his eyes was too deep, the expression on his face too mournful as if someone had passed.

“When was that?”

Kylo gulped, recalling the events.

“Two years ago.”

Suddenly in Han’s head, events started to make more sense. Ever since that evening, Kylo became estranged, hardly being seen by anyone aside from Matt, Hux and Phasma. Ben grew more short tempered for a certain number of months, snapping anytime someone mentioned Kylo. Considering where Ben was now in comparrison to Kylo, it was obvious to Han who was hit the hardest by whatever had happened.

“…And you think she still feels that way?”

Kylo shrugged, “Can we not tal-”

Just as Kylo was about to dismiss Han, his eyes met yours. In that instant, without explanation, it was as though neither of you could move your gazes from each other. Though the smile on your face had faded, you didn’t look particularly angry or resentful to see him in your line of sight. Kylo’s gut fluttered, as he swallowed, unable to move at all suddenly. Han smirked, subtly happy to see his son so enraptured by this one person.

“You know…time changes a lot of things…heals a lot of things.”

Seeing your friend pull your attention back, Kylo looked to Han slowly.

“You never know kid. If you’ve been hung up like this for two years, it’s worth a shot.”

Kylo gulped, looking to you for another brief moment, posing for pictures with your friends. Turning back to Han he shook his head.

“I can’t…I couldn’t handle if she rejects me again.”

Han patted him on the back, “From the way she’s looking at you now, I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

Kylo looked back up to you, seeing your eyes instantly move from him to one of your friends in the flash of an instant. Like a shy school girl, you didn’t want him to see you watching him. He turned back to Han once again.

“Go on…go get her.”

“A-are you sure?”

Han nodded as he slid his hands into his pockets, a smile spreading across his face. To see his quietest, brooding and isolated son get flustered at the mere sight of you undoubtedly brought him joy.

“We’ll be over here waiting for you. Now go.”

Kylo nodded as Han gave him one last pat on the back. Sweat began forming over his palms the closer his steps grew to you, nervously wiping them on his gown. As his long limbs stretched over the pavement, mentally counting every step he took towards you, his heart began to slam against his ribs, as if begging to be released. He was incredibly nervous, afraid and yet so eager to approach you. He so desperately wanted to see you close to him again, see the color of your irises, hear the sweet sound of your voice, feel all warm and fuzzy inside again as you stood before him. Finally approaching your group of friends, he saw you look up to him, your lips parting. Stepping forward hesitantly, he cleared his throat making his presence known.

“Umm, can I steal (Y/N) away for a minute?”

The girls all looked between the two of you, uncertain of what their answer was supposed to be. Seeing you sigh, they all watched you nod in consent, making your way towards him. Taking a few steps back, Kylo cleared his throat again, adjusting the collar of his dress shirt as it began to feel constraining all of a sudden. Before him, you straightened out your gown, releasing a sigh as you looked into his eyes.

“H-hi.”

You smiled, somewhat relieved to see him again.

“Hi.”

Kylo pointed to your gown, “Congrats.”

“Same to you.”

A somewhat awkward silence fell between you, for a matter of moments, leaving you both to just stare at each other. It had been so long since either of you had heard from or seen each other, being together again was an experience running high with emotions. Looking you over solemnly, Kylo gulped.

“I miss you.”

You gave him a soft faint smile, not wanting to get too emotional in this moment in such a public setting.

“I miss you too.”

“I…I’m sorry for everything.”

You nodded, “Apology accepted. …I’m sorry too…for leaving like that.”

Kylo nodded, “I understand why you did.”

You nodded again, trying not to stare into his eyes for too long a moment. You knew the second you saw those familiar puppy eyes, you’d be sucked right back in.

“…Can we be friends again?”

You sighed, looking down to your feet for a moment, before turning your gaze back to Kylo.

“Honestly…”

Kylo gulped, anticipating what you could possibly say next. Considering the fallout from that evening two years ago, he would be surprised if you instantly agreed with no conditions. He couldn’t deny however, that his worst fear was facing rejection from you yet again.

“If we’re going to be in each others lives again…I think we need to be more than friends.”

Kylo’s heart stopped for a moment, his lips falling open. In the moment, he wasn’t sure if his mind had created the response he wanted to hear, or if you had truly said what he thought you did.

“W-what?”

You smiled, awkwardly shuffling with your feet as you tried not to stare into his eyes once again.

“I uh…I talked to Ben…and after we cleared everything up, he um… he said something really sweet about you. Something I’ve thought about for a while.”

Kylo arched a brow, not recollecting when Ben would have possibly seen you nor what Ben could have possibly said to you.

“What?”

“He said I deserved a guy who looked at me as if I was a work of art…like that glimmer you see in people’s eyes and you just know…and he said that that guy was you. …That you have that glimmer in your eyes…when you look at me.”

Kylo’s heart swelled faintly, realizing his brother had made a case for him. Despite how hurt Ben was with the fallout, not speaking to Kylo for a considerable amount of months, he knew his brother, truly, deeply loved you. Though he had far too much of a persona and brooding nature going to openly admit it, Ben had seen it so obviously in those photos, in the way Kylo mourned losing you as a friend. He loved you.

“Call me crazy…but I think if you’re that guy…you need to be more than just my friend.”

Kylo gulped, his heart beating more rapidly now. He couldn’t deny his excitement, but he couldn’t help but to be nervous as well. You arched a brow at him with a smile.

“What do you say?”

Not bothering to answer you verbally, Kylo instantly put his large hands to your cheeks, crashing his lips into yours. In that instant, you felt your heart soar and your knees go weak beneath you. Your mind was washed over with bliss as your body relaxed entirely, pulling closer to Kylo. It seemed as though the hoards of people around you had disappeared entirely, everything faded to white noise, and all that was relevant was you and Kylo, in this moment. After a moment, you both slowly pulled away, looking deep into each others eyes with a new sort of glimmer in them. Simultaneously, smiles spread across both of your faces.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Would you like another one…just to confirm?”

You giggled, nodding in approval as Kylo lifted you up by the waist and put his lips to yours once again. Yet again, the outside world shut out entirely as Kylo’s lips moved with yours, softly brushing each other.

From a distance, the Solo family was getting ready to leave, all debating who was going to ride in who’s car. Just as Ben was about to protest with Rey, insisting he drive, he caught sight of you and Kylo, sweetly kissing each other a couple yards away. Stopping in his sentence, he smiled to himself, taking a few extra moments to take in the sight. From the look on both of your faces, he could tell you were both happy again, and he was too.

Pulling away again, Kylo looked at you with warm eyes, genuinely smiling.

“This beats the hell out of the grad money I’m going to get later.”

You laughed.

“Yeah, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”

“…So do we…what do we do now?”

“Well, first you put me down.”

Kylo nodded, gently setting you onto your feet once again. Dusting off your gown, you looked up to him with a smile.

“Then, we go to our respective grad parties, and maybe you call me later.”

Kylo smirked.

“Can’t we just ditch them? I mean it’s family. They see us all the time.”

You laughed shaking your head.

“Kylo!”

He shrugged, “I’m just saying.”

You shook your head, taking steps back with a smirk.

“Call me later.”

“Oh I will.”

You waved playfully with your fingers, giving him a wink before you turned on your heel back towards your friends. Watching you run off, Kylo found himself dopely staring, sighing faintly.

“KYLIE!! COME ON!! WE’RE HUNGRY!!”

Kylo was instantly brought out of his dream haze, with Ben behind the wheel of his car, honking the horn repeatedly to get Kylo’s attention. Rolling his eyes, Kylo ran off towards the car.


End file.
